He must know my wife...

Ode to College Football:

"Now that I’ve returned to Scotland after five happy years in America, friends have been asking me what I miss about the United States. They never guess the answer: I miss college football."

Thanks David...

A Speech to the Delegates

"We got to know Barack and Michelle Obama, two tall, thin, rich, beautiful people who don’t perspire, but who nonetheless feel compassion for their squatter and smellier fellow citizens. We know that Barack could have gone to a prestigious law firm, like his big donors in the luxury boxes, but he chose to put his ego aside to become a professional politician, president of the United States and redeemer of the human race. We heard about his time as a community organizer, the three most fulfilling months of his life."

We were thrilled by his speech in front of the Greek columns, which were conscientiously recycled from the concert, “Yanni, Live at the Acropolis.” We were honored by his pledge, that if elected president, he will serve at least four months before running for higher office. We were moved by his campaign slogan, “Vote Obama: He’s better than you’ll ever be.” We were inspired by dozens of Democratic senators who declared their lifelong love of John McCain before denouncing him as a reactionary opportunist who would destroy the country.

Read it all...

Well said... read it.

Sand in the Gears - New by Osmosis:

"The big news this week is that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are in love. Everyone is cool with it, especially Bill Clinton. This may prove to be a complicated relationship, however, because Obama is actually Jesus Christ. His ascension is scheduled to take place before a live audience tonight in Denver at approximately 8:30 Mountain Daylight Time."

Farewell, Phil...

Phil Hill, American Racing Champion, Is Dead
Phil Hill, the only American-born Formula One champion, died today at the age of 81. He died at Community Hospital of the Monterey Peninsula. He had suffered from Parkinson’s disease and another degenerative neurological disorder.

Maybe.....

"He's a Vulcan, no doubt about it. Now the question arises, do we want a Vulcan for president? Are we ready for a Vulcan president?"

Oops....

Let's be more like them...

New European Regulation Belongs in the This-Can’t-Possibly-Be-True Category

According to the Irish Times, European Union bureaucrats in Brussels have decided that people no longer should be allowed to eat cakes, tarts, and other treats entered in baking competitions. American bureaucrats love to concoct senseless rules, but can anyone think of a regulation in the United States that matches this gem?

Cute...

DING DONG THE WITCH IS DYING

"...and the Soviet Union declined because it ran out of money too'."

Newsflash!

Racist Republicans imply that Obama is black!

Good ol' Western College...

Donna Shalala's Wet Nightmare

"Maybe her 'horrible' experience occurred when she attended Western College for Women in Oxford, Ohio, in the early 1960s. It does not sound like a wild place, but who knows? Or maybe the alcohol-soaked hell was Hunter College, where Shalala was president from 1980 to 1987. Possibly she is overgeneralizing. Possibly I am. Does anyone else recall that life on campus was substantially more horrible when 18-to-20-year-olds drank legally than it was when they started drinking illegally?"

Megan is resigning from the human race....

Annals of idiocy:

"We live in degenerate times, my friends. Our ancestors got into ships that would hardly do for a weekend sail on the lake, crossed stormy oceans, fought mountain cats and drought, sailed their prairie schooners into the wilderness, all without as much as a single 'Warning: Contains wild animal ingredients' label slapped on the prairie. Ours is perhaps a more complicated time, and farther from the food chain, we may need more guidance. Indeed, as a vegan, I'm very glad of the labels informing me when something contains milk. But I hardly need to be told that all of the t-bones decaying wetly in the refrigerator case have meat in them."

Sounds like managed care to me...

Uninsured pay $30 billion for health care

Americans who go without health insurance for any part of 2008 will spend $30 billion out of pocket for health care and they will get $56 billion worth of free care, according to a report released on Monday.

Because she is....

Nancy Pelosi Believes in Natural Gas

Of note...

Brace Yourself for The Coming Deluge of Hair Plug Gags

And this, too, from Glenn...

YOU THINK "HUMAN RIGHTS" GROUPS WOULD BE LOUDER: "Georgian civilians captured and recently freed by Russian and South Ossetian forces on Saturday described beatings, forced labor and miserable living conditions in prison. . . . The detainees, many of them elderly fruit farmers from villages along Georgia's northern border, said male inmates were forced to clean streets and bury the war dead, and occasionally endured beatings that left them with bruises and welts. More than 100 men and women were packed into a cell with a single toilet, they said." But I've heard only token commentary. I guess if you can't criticize Americans or Israelis it's not worth a major effort.

Via Instapundit

THE FUN BEGINS: Anti-war protests in Denver, featuring Cindy Sheehan. Though at this late date, what war are they protesting, exactly? Iraq's in the wrap-up phase (even Obama says the Surge worked and, well, "mission accomplished"), even the lefties haven't been raising much complaint about Afghanistan, and nobody's talking about invading Iran or anything. If you want a real invasion over oil to protest, you could march against the Russian invasion of Georgia, but that's not happening. What's next -- protests against Teddy Roosevelt in Cuba?