The National Weather Service is telling everyone to wear their hats and gloves. What are they, our MOM? I hate wearing hats in the winter; they produce fly-away hair that makes you look like you just experienced frottage with Reddy Kilowatt. At least adults have better glove options than kids; the latter are forced to wear thick nylon things that convert your clever nimble hands into cold insensate slabs that won’t even soak up nostril juice. Adults get supple leather gloves, but we know that any glove useful for driving will be useless in the elements. If you get stuck in the hinterlands with only driving gloves, might as well saw of your fingers with the Swiss Army Knife and throw them as far as possible to draw the wolves away.
Just in case you’re curious just how much the planet hates us today: it’s around 40 below with the wind chill in the north, and it’ll be the same statewide tonight. Of course we can take it; we have 75-year-old guys spending half an hour in the lake and surviving just fine. This does not mean that buzz.mn endorses crashing through the ice today. Thirty below is one thing. Forty below is another.
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